回首話當年

 

 

一九六九年二月(農曆正月)廿八日對我來說是一個很有紀念性的特殊日子.  那一天我在弟妹和母親的依依惜別之下, 我邁向了人生的另一個里程碑, 含淚揮別了家人 至親好友 我的第二故鄉---怡保, 還有心中牽掛的故人, 只身到百里迢迢以外的彭亨州直凉華小去當臨教 . 從怡保到直凉, 十個小時以上的路程啊, 走過那險峻, 九曲十三彎的文冬山 , 越過連綿不斷的橡膠園 ,一路上只見膠樹不見人 ,車一走過便揚起了漫天的塵土 那種荒涼淒清的景象 ,若非身歷其境 ,是很難想象的.

到直凉的那一天是大年初三, 在校長及同事們熱誠的接待之下, 我渡過了第一個離郷背景的長夜. 第二天一早梳洗完畢,吃過早點,上課鐘聲一響, 正式開鑼, 我當老師了! 事隔四十二年, 當時的情景至今仍歷歷在目.  前塵往事, 點滴到心頭, 當時的我不到二十歲 ,身上穿着母親為我臨時趕做好的紅色連身裙 ,直髮, 頭上繫了一條粉紅色的絲巾, 滿臉的稚氣 ,手裡拿着一條細長的籐鞭, 雖然膽怯, 但仍裝着若無其事的走進課室,

 "新老師來了, 那麼年輕, 不知會兇嗎?" ,  

"噓, 別鬧了, 她在看我們呢 !"   學生們在私下評論.

 

那是我在直凉華小的第一堂課, 五年級的學生, 好些連英文字母都認不全, 怎麼教呢? 離家前父親曾給了我一些教學的竅門, 有兩點是我永遠記得的. (1) 教學前先引起學生對學習的興趣  (2) 因才施教.  這兩個竅門使我在漫長的教學生涯中受惠無窮.  話說回來, 那一節課, 我一共唱過,教了三首英文歌曲, 幼兒園的”ABC song” , 簡單易懂的"小星星",” Twinkle twinkle stars”, “Row, row, row your boat” 一節課下來, 三首歌曲連帶表情都學會了, 學生們唱得高興, 我也沾沾自喜, 因為我知道, 他們已經喜歡上了我這稚氣未脫初出茅蘆的小老師, 開始准備學英語了.

 

放學後在宿舍裡仔細的看了校務處給我分配的功課表, 竟然有十節音樂課, 樂不可支. 當年的兒童歌曲, 從一年級的"大蘋果" 到五六年級的 "西風的話", "送別", "可愛的一朵玫瑰花" 等, 我是無一不曉,  無一不能唱啊 ! 音樂課在早上十點休息時間過後, 帶著歡愉的心情, 我以輕快的腳步, 走進了課室.

  "老師,  我們正在學唱 "蘭花花", 您會唱吧?"

 

不得了,  六年級的學生考起我來了. 定晴一看,站起來的小男生, 個子跟我一樣高, 五官端正, 一臉旳酷, 是個翩翩美少男, 他又加了一句, "我是甚麼歌都會唱的." 幸好我有備而來, 也算是高手. 清了清喉嚨, 高歌一曲 "蘭花花", 洗耳恭聴之後, 他們竟然給了我如雷的掌聲, 總算口服心服.

 

兩個星期過去了, 開始適應也逐漸愛上了教學生涯.  學生們多數家境清貧, 父母更為要養育衆多的子女從早忙到晚, 而這些年紀小小的孩子們放學後都是小當家, 女生要幫忙照顧弟妹,料理家務, 男生則要收膠片, 做粗重的工作. 溫習功課的時間少之又少, 學習成績是不理想的, , 但他們敬愛師長, 純樸善良, 在孩子們天真無邪的臉上, 在他們毫不造作的言行舉止, 我看到了人性光輝美好的一面, 找到了真, 善, 美. 我知道我今生今世, 再也放不下教鞭, 立志要成為一個諄諄善誘的良師.

 

當了八年的臨教, 每年的十二月尾都為明年會否被續聘而苦惱, 徹夜無眠. 一九七六年六月, 我終於被選進第六屆假期師訓班, 父親在逝世前, 總算親眼看見這個我行我素, 使他老人家傷透腦筋的女兒找到了可托終身旳職業, 當時爸爸在信上說:"丹楓妳苦等了八年, 終於進了師訓. 我心中的快樂, 非筆墨 ,言語能形容....."

 

 

四個月之后, 父親走了 ! 我有幸能及時捎起他一個最好的消息, 也是身為女兒的我最後送給他, 令他老人家最感 欣慰的一份禮物------那就是我將受訓成為合格老師. 教學生涯三十六年. 在莘莘學子的陪伴下走過悲歡歲月, 雖曾經過風風兩雨, 也曾因受委屈而心酸落淚, 待遇又是那麼 的菲薄, 但內心卻是富足的.

“橫眉冷對千夫指, 俯首甘為孺子牛", 總算不枉此生了 !

 

 

 

  後序: 謹以此文, 悼念辭世三十五年, 勞碌一生的父親, 我們父女相處的時間很少, 但骨肉情深,   與生俱來.

  我是天主教徒,不該也不可相信,有來世今生, 但心中總是有這樣的呼喚:

  " 親愛的爸爸, 願來生重續父女緣, 彌補今生情大太暫"

 

  12/11/2011 完稿-----蕭丹楓

爹的訴求

孩子, 今年就別為我慶生了, 來參加晚宴的人泰半我都不認識, 他們公式化, 循例向我打恭作揖, 似乎無甚誠意,我不能感受到幾許溫馨.   禮物也從簡吧, 你不曉得我真正渇望旳, 三年來你買那些貴重的, 我不捨得啟用, 擱在抽屜裡.   週末也別帶我去快餐連鎖店, 那處吃的, 只是你幼女的最愛.

孩子別一直催我去復診 ,醫生配的藥, 有紅的,白的, 青色,黃色, 吞的,塗的, 我不厭其煩,  又戰戰競競小心寫下, 惟恐有差錯. 往往稍後那備忘錄就不翼而飛了.  假如白色的降血壓, 紅的控制血糖, 青的利尿, 是誰教它們何去何從 ? 怎樣分工合作? 葯丸體積不大, 用我不靈活, 沒勁的手, 很難切開兩份, 要四份之一更考人手藝. 不如痛的時候多服用, 不疼不癢就免了. 

孩子別叫人替我整理衣著, 你小時我從不假手予人, 你的尿布我親自洗滌, 不嫌那異味, 為何現在連傭人都緊皺眉頭, 繃着臉, 甚麽時候還我尊嚴, 幾時償我自尊心?.   別常常叫我洗澡, 外面的陽光猛烈, 室內卻有涼風習習, 我的四肢冰冷, 腰, 背, 都僵硬, 隱隱作痛.   驅風油, 萬金油不見得難聞.   你小時也不愛洗澡, 我不曾生氣, 還哄你抹嘴, 擦鼻子, 由你挑選愛用的毛巾, 最常穿的藍衣黑褲.  我就偏不喜歡印有字體的背心, 圓領的T 恤, 你都不察覺.

 

我竭盡氣力, 走路緩慢, 就如你所形容-----像蝸牛.  你兩歲時又何嘗不是舉步蹣跚, 心裡有恐愼感, 我讚你勇敢, 可愛, 你當年的偶像已淪為小配角, 行人乙, 累贅, 遲鈍. 說真的, 我也覺得遲暮, 與高科技時代脫落, 用電腦牽強, 僅有三招..啟動, 贊, 退出.  甚至早餐吃過甚麽也記不起, 倒是小學六年級畢業照的每位同學, 姓名我都能確認.  近來那些年紀大的老師, 和完全失去聯絡的同學, 都會在我做夢中出現, 陰森森的指我掉隊.  醒來時我有滿室人走茶涼的冷落, 無限的孤獨, 夜是那麼的無奈.

孩子別偶而把我留在那陰深的大屋裡, 住客邋遢 , 身體, 指甲,頭髮,衣物都髒兮兮的, 他們都愛偷我的, 借我的, 又沒文學水準, 既不懂唐詩宋詞,也不認識莎士比亞, 更相信我說的所謂愛新覺羅, 愛迪生和愛因司坦是同一國籍,  他們講英語帶假洋腔, 文法卻一無是處.  你與小朋友鬧別扭時我曾陪你悶坐, 發呆, 怎麼現在我得陪那群糟老頭渡過大半天? 可記得你要打破撲滿, 花你畢生儲蓄, 央我一起渡過週末, 現在我寂寞, 也潦倒, 就算有錢, 也會是寸金難買你的寸光陰吧.

 

孩子, 早年一直充當你提款機的老爸, 現在要靠耳聾機, 洗腎機, 以前享受按摩椅, 現在開始依靠輪椅. 孩子我厭倦了這亳無精彩的漫長日子. 罷,罷,罷, 希望有天不必起床.  當我醒不過來時, 且讓我悄悄離去, 不讓那些平時都不打招呼的人, 帶着墨鏡, 肅立在我照片前, 表示哀悼, 又刻意把我的人品, 才華, 以往, 講得天花亂墜  , 把我比喻成十全十美, 天上有, 地下無那類.    雖說塵歸塵, 土歸土, 我倒希望能完成當年加入海軍的願望, 四處為家.... 讓花瓣, 海鷗送我一程, 乘風到太平洋,  任海水陶盡我的夕陽, 煙霧罩着我遺下的一點點光輝.

An undelivered love letter

念你

40年，夫妻能夠手走過這1萬4600天、35萬0400分鐘，真不容易。雖然至終總有一人會先脫隊 ，留下的酸甜苦辣，總能織成一篇七彩的回憶圖，夫復何求

這是一封充滿淚水, 耐着心碎一字一字寫, 但永遠寄不出的情書.....由丹楓親筆完成, 過程中除了她哭泣. 就只聼到幾乎停的呼吸......

Yours truly

-------- 

走過水果攤, 看見一筐筐熟透的水蓊, 紅艷欲滴! 心底一酸, 眼淚在眶中打轉, 被自己這種突如其來的反應嚇了一跳, 不是好端端的嗎? 怎會一刹間傷心落淚? 深埋在心中的思念, 像缺了崼的洪水, 排山倒海而來.

那一個早晨, 帶着你告別了我們曾經苦樂與共的家園, 留下了滿屋子的回憶, 揮別了那無語東流的麻河水, 邁向我人生的另一段旅程.

車子在我們一共同走過千百回的隆麻大道奔馳, 兩個小時後抵達了孝恩園, 把你留在那裡, 心中萬般不捨, 就讓那成蔭的綠樹, 呢喃的鳥語, 遠處含笑的青山與你為伴吧 !

回到住處, 打開冰箱看見那一大串熟透, 紅透的水蓊, 胖嘟嘟的躺在裡頭, 那是十天前從麻坡特地帶來女兒家的, 又大又紅的果實, 翠綠的葉子, 生意盎然, 好像剛從樹上採下來的.  記得病中的你一手拿着剪刀, 一手提着紅艷誘人的水蓊, 笑着對我說: 漂亮吧  這是我第一次從這樹上收成的果實.  這就是你, 即使在病中也那麼有閒情逸緻, 熱愛生活, 典型的完美主義者.

你特意把綠葉留下, 讓綠意盈盈的葉子和褐色的枝椏襯托岀果實的紅艷. 把水蓊分了吃, 都說: 好甜 ! 我也嘗了, 的確甜 . 可是我心中只有一個字:苦 !

多年來你栽種了不計其數的蔬果, 除了我們一家五口, 鄰居, 親朋戚友都分得一杯羹, 你走後我們還能嘗到你親手栽種的果子, 甜也好, 苦也罷, 你把遺愛常留人間 !

曾几何時, 慌亂中把你送進了吉隆坡中央醫院急診室, 兩天後 (2009年二月八日), 早上九點正, 看着你咽下最後一口氣, 眼角帶着最後一滴淚, 萬般不捨的離去! 抱着冰冷的你, 給你送上我最後吻別, 無奈啊! 從此人天兩隔, 永不相見! 你對我無微不至的細心呵護, 萬千的寵愛與寬容, 對家庭無私的奉獻與犧牲, 我這枝拙筆, 又何足以描繪其萬分之一, 唏噓啊 !

我們四十年的情份, 就此畫上了休止符, 走筆至此, 再也寫不下去了, 再深的情緣, 到頭來終需一別, 轉眼成空. "吾真真不能忘汝也". 安息吧 !  你的妻子懷念你 !

Dear Dan Fong,

You are a very blessed woman to be so loved and treasured by you late husband.  Time is a good antidote for pain and loss.  May the sweet memory and the thought that your late husband is now in a far better place where there is no pain nor sorrow comforts and motivates you to move on like what Chee Yoke has put it so succinctly.  .. Jock Hua

Like a love story movie ,Dan Fong's casual writting style vividly painted her early happy family life in a little town in Johore.I can imagine her late husband  must be kind, loving and a good father. Without doubt Dan Fong will always treasure this episode of Endless love that has enriched her life in many ways. I am deeply touched…Haee Lee

不能忘记已往，总是緬懷过去，这是人之常情，但是逝者如斯，在人生河流裡，不管甜酸苦辣，欢欣得失，就在流失的日子裡，不知不觉都溜走了。人生苦短，我们也无需迷失在过去的日子，要向前望，尽量充实生活，让人生更多彩，祝愿丹枫生活更加幸福美好，这是您先生和你们的孩子的期望，也是大家的期待。愿大家共勉之，谢谢。Chee Yoke

Hi all

Dan Fong asks me to convey to you the followings:

When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you.  When you weep, you weep alone.

Over the years I have been crying alone.  Thank you very much for taking the trouble to read my love letter of no return and share my sorrows and pain of my recent loss.  Some of you  responded with words that really touched my heart, and I cried a river.  But I know that I am not  totally on my own, and I’ll probably will never Walk alone again.

Though we are at different corners of the world, our true friendship, genuine love and sincere, care and concern for one another will bring us even closer together. Do keep in touch, my dear friends, classmates and 'countrymen".

Signed: Siow DF

旧雨重逢

旧雨重逢

同学们,

这是我在咱们六一九集会後的一些感受, 虽嫌有点唠叨 ,但绝对不是无病呻吟, 而是发自内心深处的感触. 读过後你记得也好, 莞尔也吧 !  我本就是天空的一片云, 偶尔投影(这句倒有点风花雪月般的欠扁)......前後花了好几天写出来, 自然不能一气呵成.. 拙作也 !

昔日因赋新词强说愁, 而今识尽愁滋味.走过了辛酸苦辣的崎岖路,当然也有值得骄傲的风光、 绝对温馨的时刻. 

这是一群身经百战、不折不挠,年逾半百名符其实的银发一族，像马拉松竞走决赛圈中作最後冲刺的健几. 六十年代的中学生, 四十七年后再聚集一室，壮哉… 欢欣…喜悦…惊讶… 感慨,这是作文堂中没法描述的旧雨重逢,不亦乐乎 !

依稀有一点昨日黄花、英雄迟暮的感觉.  但霸气豪情 还如红日当天的也大不乏人. 上了发梢的倦容也掩盖不了犹存的赤子心,畢竟年過半百后, 还是好汉一群.

喧哗了一阵, 免不了谈起青葱年代的梦想和抱负, 又想起少年的烦恼。 那年代过分的矜持、 莫须有的拘束， 偶然的一厢情愿, 为所倾慕的一份细水长流的无奈和丝丝的惆怅. 虽然面对那大江东去不能改变的有点唏嘘, 但均有足够的气度, 能接受不可改变的残酷. 那些不克赴约者, 我们除了惦记, 还有思念, 更献上衷心的祝福. 我们不刻意下岗, 痴等末班车， 我们不打烊, 只要享受这一刻 珍惜所有的.最好还能一起翱翔、绚丽， 愿每一天都灿烂, 每一日皆精彩…

我们约好再重逢。不见不散，不唱骊歌, 只颂友谊万岁. 我们不怕为伤感哭泣, 更不忌因感恩掉热泪 . 但愿人长久 千里共婵娟 !

Diary

小女生的日記

That's what  two young ladies went through towards the later part of their late  father's struggle with a terminal disease

屢次的交流, 佩恩和佩珊讓我充份了解他們的感受, 領略到他們的愁悵, 加上其他點點滴滴:

爸抱怨腹部不舒服, 從輕微的陣痛, 轉變為斷斷續續的劇痛.   一向嗜吃的鐵漢, 整四個星期都不肯進食, 像是有所避忌, 連多年慣用的心臟藥丸也置之一旁, 有點頹喪.   唯有舊同學探訪時, 他的毅力會明顯的提升, 似乎還有足夠的體能來支撐他一向的健談.

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醫生給爸做例常檢查後, 坦誠對我們說患者的病情不可能有好轉, 告誡我們別存絲毫僥倖心態, 免得到時間無法接受事實.

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每次我握着爸溫暖的手, 都慶幸尚有機會相聚, 清晨尤其溫馨, 特別, 惟恐他的黎明不再來. 他看的, 想的, 念的, 好像泰半都在另一地平線.   他的眼神茫然, 已失去大部份光彩.  看清楚叔公寄來的舊照片, 爸確有過十分璀璨的笑容, 愛搶鏡頭, 攝人心神的身體語言.  媽默然承受他的別扭, 對他不離不棄, 那是鶼鰈情深的昇華.

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爸的病情更甚, 他緊握着雙拳與蠶食他細胞旳病魔對抗, 短期間竟衰老了一倍, 誰見了都心酸. 朋友來了他只能帶着感激的眼神, 望望對方.  我心情矛盾, 希望他能平靜的, 舒適的, 帶著他的瀟灑, 悄悄離去. 但下意識中又祈望奇蹟的出現. 其實我忘了上週五那塲非同小可的手術, 他能甦醒過來, 已是個奇蹟.

叔公寄來的一段交響曲, 動聴, 悅耳, 只是苦澀, 像我的心情一樣.

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爸的體重只剩四十公斤左右, 不吃不喝, 任由病毒折騰他. 這兩天他的肢體經常抽搐,  顫抖, 大腦也漸漸衰退, 失去部份功能, 幾乎不可言語. 醫生逐漸增加止痛藥,鎮定劑的頻次和數量. 說腫瘤, 心臟竭衰, 營養不良都足以致命. 

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昨晚我和姐守着病牀, 讓媽在家躺着, 我們都累了. 看爸痛苦的表情, 我心如刀割. 值勤醫生不再分配抗生素, 默認大勢已去. 

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今早老爸的情形告急, 差一點熬不過來. 醫師再次吩咐我們要有心理準備. 爸稍有知覺時似要叮嚀甚麽旳, 無奈的摸著我的頭, 示意我不哭, 又揮手訣別...那是第五次了. 他沈睡旳時間愈來愈長, 我又怕他醒不了. 

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爸的一舉一動都很吃力,辛苦, 不勝負荷, 正是英雄遲暮 , 我們看見都難過.  醫生說要發生的, 就快發生, 卄四小時內, 大限將到.   我有依依不捨的悲慟.

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三十小時過了, 醫生的估計有失準繩,. 爸睡得很沈, 額頭有輕微的高燒, 乍看下他情況平穩, 沒有掙扎的跡象. 今夜我們母女三人都準備在病房守着, 只怕有變故.

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2011年 9月30日晚上十一點三十五分, 爸終於去了, 他平靜的嚥下最後一口氣, 脫離了苦痛.  我們相擁而泣, 不太激動, 但眼眶內的淚水和心頭的苦楚, 都無法按捺 .

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永別了我的爸爸, 火葬儀式莊嚴, 氣氛安寧, 帶着絲絲旳傷感. 爸旳親朋戚友, 大群的老同學都來送你最後一程, 願你好走. 我想你定會欣慰.

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就是那麼無奈, 今天可是我生日.  下午兩點左右, 我們出海, 把父親的骨灰撒在水中央,母親呼天搶地了幾分鐘, 回應的是海水的蕩然, 漣漪的無語, 間中海鷗旳悲啼,  讓我有個刻骨銘心的回憶. 事後我還能依稀感覺到那海水的鹹味, 在我髮梢拂過的微風. , 回頭只見隨著波浪飄浮的花瓣. 那種失去依靠的無助, 幾乎把我淹沒 .

Beautiful life

Dear all

I have sent this to some of you before, but you may not have put a finger to it.  I tried to make a summary of XX's temperament, his nature, his way of doing things, addressing problems.  Like the rest of us, he was not perfect, but he was quite a character.  We loved him for the way he was....cool, decisive.  He did live his life full, and I honestly don't think he had many regrets.  Let us accept his demise as a reality  and come to terms with it.  Let us try and stick together as he wanted us to, and not let his efforts go to waste.  May he rest in peace

同學們

之前我有寄給各位以下的感言,不過我有沒誏大家了解我的動機.

XX的性格作風,待人接物, 處事的方式,大家都記得. 他就像我們一樣, 不屬十全十美那類. 但肯定夠酷, 果斷. 他有豐盛的一生, 的確是不虛此行. 我們要接受他真的走了, 我們得維持這團契,同窗之誼 繼續他的心願

願他安息

 

P/s The late XXX's family wants to thank each and every one of you, regardless of your absence or presence at the funeral, for all the kind thoughts, prayers, gifts, jokes, and all that fetching and carrying, whatever it took to put a smile on his face.

 

 

旅途

 

 

當一切停頓

記憶化為麈埃

我必不回顧

過去是否精彩

活得可夠充實 

我的冷漠令人心碎 ? 

        真誠可曾感染  ?

執著讓人敬畏  ?

平凡引人注目  ?

不算終止

甭畫句點

惟因我到過

我看見  我嘗試

  我努力  我擁有

我將漸漸遺忘

    慢慢淡出

過了這站  又是另一段旅途

 

When things come to a halt

Memories turn to naught

I won't hasten to look back, and wonder:

Did I live my life full ?

Was it as splendid as it is colourful ?

Was my indifference disheartening?

My honesty and integrity permeating?

Persistence raised an eyebrow or two ?

Low profile attracted attention too?

It is by no means a termination, just culmination

I won't pause it with punctuation

All because I came, endeavored

Strived, gained and obtained

I'll put it at the back of my mind surely

As I ease out gradually

After this station, there will be a new journey

旧雨重逢

同学们,

这是我在咱们六一九集会後的一些感受, 虽嫌有点唠叨 ,但绝对不是无病呻吟, 而是发自内心深处的感触. 读过後你记得也好, 莞尔也吧 !  我本就是天空的一片云, 偶尔投影(这句倒有点风花雪月般的欠扁)......前後花了好几天写出来, 自然不能一气呵成.. 拙作也 !

昔日因赋新词强说愁, 而今识尽愁滋味.走过了辛酸苦辣的崎岖路,当然也有值得骄傲的风光、 绝对温馨的时刻. 

这是一群身经百战、不折不挠,年逾半百名符其实的银发一族，像马拉松竞走决赛圈中作最後冲刺的健几. 六十年代的中学生, 四十七年后再聚集一室，壮哉… 欢欣…喜悦…惊讶… 感慨,这是作文堂中没法描述的旧雨重逢,不亦乐乎 !

依稀有一点昨日黄花、英雄迟暮的感觉.  但霸气豪情 还如红日当天的也大不乏人. 上了发梢的倦容也掩盖不了犹存的赤子心,畢竟年過半百后, 还是好汉一群.

喧哗了一阵, 免不了谈起青葱年代的梦想和抱负, 又想起少年的烦恼。 那年代过分的矜持、 莫须有的拘束， 偶然的一厢情愿, 为所倾慕的一份细水长流的无奈和丝丝的惆怅. 虽然面对那大江东去不能改变的有点唏嘘, 但均有足够的气度, 能接受不可改变的残酷. 那些不克赴约者, 我们除了惦记, 还有思念, 更献上衷心的祝福. 我们不刻意下岗, 痴等末班车， 我们不打烊, 只要享受这一刻 珍惜所有的.最好还能一起翱翔、绚丽， 愿每一天都灿烂, 每一日皆精彩…

我们约好再重逢。不见不散，不唱骊歌, 只颂友谊万岁. 我们不怕为伤感哭泣, 更不忌因感恩掉热泪 . 但愿人长久 千里共婵娟 !

戚佳安

不再

年前我有位朋友 ,妻子不幸患了绝症. 噩耗来得突然, 他有措手不及的感觉 , 未能面对, 屡屡不能自己, 情绪陷入低潮, 甚至失控, 受开解辅导後才冷静下来, 然后他决定不遗余力, 到处奔波寻医, 几乎竭尽了他一切资源 . 只可惜最终也得接受事实的残酷.  就在他俩努力抗癌那一段日子, 我绞尽脑汁写了几段激励的话语, 希望他在那不可避免的事件发生後 ,或能花些时间谱上调子, 偶而自弹自唱, 慢慢走出丧偶的阴影. 却没料到他不堪生别离死别的痛苦, 就在圣诞节前夕,夫妻两人烧炭,相拥而死. 我填的词, 就从此遗憾地被搁置在一旁.

: 

北风瑟瑟  丝雨绵绵 

过去的剪不断

未来的理还乱

夕阳太晚  孤雁落单

反反复复  寒夜奇长

牵着情深的柔肠

按捺不住的震撼

抚着思键  慰着掂念 

心扉深处  只欠温暖

还记得在霓虹灯影下的笑言

尚未忘在星光阑珊里的承诺

我的愁苦  你说不要

我的挫折  你说忘掉... 忘掉

我不忧郁  别了彷徨

只因我曾有避风的海港

不再愁伥  独自迥肠

只因为我曾有  停泊的边岸

不要哭泣  不必忧伤

惟因我曾有  避风的海港

不需憧憬  不要梦幻

只因我曾有  停泊的边岸

Wonderful Maker, Beautiful Creator

As I was growing up in the Highlands, I often was amazed by the existence of certain flora and fauna there.  Even the hills seemed dignified and majestic.  The geography and science lessons later only added my admiration for nature, long before I came to know the Creator.

We cannot hope to catch a glimpse of wind, but we certainly can feel it, in our hair, on our faces.  There is the gentle breeze that ripples the surface of a pond, the northerly wind that gives us the chill, the gale strong enough to break the sail of a ship, and the hurricane that travels with such velocity and ferocity that homes and lives are destroyed along it's path.  It can be so mighty and awesome !

Some plants yield timber, edible fruits, and some are grown for mere ornamental purposes. Roses are the most esteemed of all cultivated plants. Sometimes even the foliage is fragrant.  They come in red, pink, white and even green species have been sighted, no less exotic than flowers such as rafflesia, tulips, violets and the like that come in bright yellow, blue and even black.  The same colours make up rainbow, which comes with a larger outer layer at times, donning the same outfit inside out.  Need we ask "Who paints the sky?". Whereas these are trees that are evergreen, deciduous trees turn their leaves to red and yellow, and shed them off when the weather gets severe.  As mist permeates the forest at dawn, it adds a touch of mystic to the air.  What a magical sight to behold !

Blue sky signifies clear weather, which is normally accompanied by white and silky clouds. Dark grey stratus will bring rain and snow.  Snow flakes literally come down in millions. The crystals are 6 sided, or 12.  Apparently no two samples taken are identical.  They differ from one another in size, lacy structure  and surface markings.  Rain that patters on the leaves, drizzles that whet the appetite of the good earth, heavy downpour that cleanses and ionizes the air, are all but creation of the Almighty, for different reasons, in different seasons; God makes all that is unique and precise.

They say, little drops of water, little drops of sand, make the mighty oceans and land.  Did someone excavate earth to make space for lakes and oceans, and pile them up for hills and mountain ranges ? Who is so imaginative and powerful ?  Rivers meander across the plain, as though they are capable of negotiating corners.  And all those creatures living above and below sea level, would they be just part of the evolution ?

We know better that it's all His work.  He was there before all those came into being.  He is with us now, and He will still be around when most of the subjects He created, have gone from dust to dust, earth to earth, ashes to ashes.  He is the Alpha, and Omega, the first, the last, the living one.  Let us sing praises to Him:

Wind that rustles thro' bushes

Breeze that ruffles still waters

Raindrop falling on the ground

Snow flakes floating all around

Morning dew that mystifies

And sunsets that mesmerize

O my Wonderful Maker

Such Beautiful Creator

Who makes everything precise?

Colours that make up rainbow

Brooks that flow across meadows

Lakes and valleys and green hills

Roses, white, daffodils

Rocks and boulders, golden sand

Deep seas, oceans, Promised land

O my Wonderful Maker

Such Beautiful Creator

Who makes everything in sight

You are Alpha & Omega

The First, the Last, the Living One

You created us, gave us life

You are the Almighty , Our God

Thank You for all Your love and grace

We worship You and give You praise...............

祝福

XX & XX

可否记得少年时徒步上学, 一角五分都要节约的日子? 但我们都不觉得辛苦,不埋怨, 反而常常喜乐, 绽开笑容 ,过了许多穷开心的时光. 就算是没钱交学费的窘境, 一刹那也忘了.

踏进社会 ,不断长期打拚, 跋涉, 尤其是XX又何止走万里路, 相信XX也有撑半边天的日子. 抱恙或许是让自己放慢的讯号 , 千里马也得歇一歇.  目前 我们这群身在远方的朋友 无能予於具体的援助, 但我们都给你们精神上的支持 希望你们在自己至亲的陪同下 能保持一种豁达,从容和闲适的心态 而毅然面对 以后更会把握闲慢的精髓 珍惜一切所有的.  且看窗外的鸟语花香 包括那燕语呢喃 何尝不是我们声声的叮咛 深深的祝福 句句保重

我们的挚友 数个月后我们还有个约会 你们得早日回复健康 说好了我们风雨不改 不见不散 切记切记

附言...我或许不能表达得更含蓄委婉 就附上 YY 所改编的蒙古草原歌 (我自己也再斗胆删改部分, 壁竟她是用来唱 而我只写给你们读, 不必押韵).

她道 :

"高原在那里? 高原在那里 ?

就在我们心坎里

在我们心深处, 在我们情怀中

高原鸟语香, 高原茶正浓

花红草绿笑言更从容

高原儿女一朝各西东

情缘藏心底 ,相会叹无期 

今朝重相遇 仿佛在梦里

笑语盈盈多厢喜, 多厢喜 

高原儿女相聚在一起

高原就在我们歌声里

今日在一起 ,明天又别离

同窗情谊难忘记

远方的人儿我把你惦记

后会总有期

我们深深祝福你

后会有期, 祝福你-祝福你 "

牵念你们的同学老友: 

业清 清发 明强 家明 亚瑞

尚华 锦荣 和宜 国强 英丽

玉花 玉惠 丹枫 爱兰 集莲 玉香

凤英 美容 逸致 兆荣 志育

高升 福强  书励 得今 贤任 佳安 

In my hours of need



God allows us to be tested in many ways--major changes such as separations, broken relationship, delayed promises, unanswered prayers, undeserved and uncalled for criticism, even senseless mishaps. At times He intentionally draws back so that we do not sense His closeness. Should I call that a test of faith?

I was once thrown into trouble, big time. And it came upon me like lightning, no warning whatsoever. And in all that fright and confusion, I felt hopelessly helpless as I was left to fend for myself, totally on my own. I wished it was a nightmare and yet I could not shake it off because it was real. In my sorrow and distress, I prayed to God and cried out to Him. I asked "Why is it happening? Why me Lord?" And I complained bitterly to the Lord. I told Him I was afraid. I pleaded for mercy, and begged to be rescued. The ordeal seemed endless and timeless. Sometimes I could not tell if it was day or night. I questioned God now and then, asked Him why He had forsaken me. But there was no answer and frankly at times, I was so desperate that I asked Him to take me home, His or mine, it no longer mattered. But in the nick of time, I remembered that God would do things in His own timing, and have everything done in His time.So inspite of all that anguish, despair and fear, I realised I should not challenge God's authority. He is the Almighty. He is in control and most of all, He loved me. Had He not, I could have been blown out easily like a candle. I apologised profusely to Him, and said, "I'm sorry God, for doubting You".

Having come to terms with that, I promised not to question Him again. Complaint followed by faith, desperation followed by praise. I thanked Him each and every day. I thanked Him for the promised eternity, and thank Him for life itself, because every breath I took was given by Him. And slowly but surely, He delivered me, and I was able to see light at the end of the tunnel. We may not understand God's purpose in our difficulties and sufferings, but we must trust and obey, and hope in Him despite the trials that threaten to overwhelm us. While we wait for that comfort, we can be assured that God will not allow us to be tested beyond our ability to bear. We will not suffer one moment extra, nor will we suffer more intensely than is necessary, or be tried beyond our endurance. His are the potter's hands. He knows how to mould and shape. He is the one who mans the furnace. He monitors the entire process with total precision. I still am not 100% sure He put me through all that, but I believe He did it for a good reason---perhaps tostrengthen me, reveal a weakness, or to prepare me for bigger things or broaden my horizon, so to speak.James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Till now, I must confess, I am still some work-in-progress. But I'd learnt to accept the things He has in store for me, with thanks giving in my heart. I penned that experience of mine in a song, put together by a few friends. We are not polished musicians and I personally don't even have the basic skills. Yet God empowered the team to work together. We knew we simply have to do it for God, to the glory of His name and we cherished every minute in the process. If the melody or the words let you feel the warmth of God's love, or the might of His power, or the reliability of His faithfulness, Praise the Lord........

You'd forsaken me, Lord?

There was no light I could not see
There was no way I just could not find
So then I asked You'd forsaken me Lord?
I even cried You'd forsaken me Lord!

There's no answer I did not hear
There were no signs And I did not see
So then I asked You'd forsaken me Lord?
I even cried You'd forsaken me Lord!

Be patient You said Trust and wait on me
Those that belong Shall not perish
Weep no more child I'll mould and I'll shape
Those that belong Wait not in vain.

There was no cheer I did not hear
There was no joy As I did not feel
So then I asked You'd forsaken me Lord?
I even cried You'd forsaken me Lord

Be patient You said Trust and wait on me
Those that belong Shall not perish
Weep no more child I'll mould and I'll shape
Those that belong Wait not in vain.
I,m sorry Lord for the unbelief
I know You will deliver me
Salvation comes Your will be done
If it's Your will It shall be done
There were no tears I cried no more
There was no pain Cause You'd taken it all
So then I said I surrender it all
With all I have I surrender it all