In my hours of need



God allows us to be tested in many ways--major changes such as separations, broken relationship, delayed promises, unanswered prayers, undeserved and uncalled for criticism, even senseless mishaps. At times He intentionally draws back so that we do not sense His closeness. Should I call that a test of faith?

I was once thrown into trouble, big time. And it came upon me like lightning, no warning whatsoever. And in all that fright and confusion, I felt hopelessly helpless as I was left to fend for myself, totally on my own. I wished it was a nightmare and yet I could not shake it off because it was real. In my sorrow and distress, I prayed to God and cried out to Him. I asked "Why is it happening? Why me Lord?" And I complained bitterly to the Lord. I told Him I was afraid. I pleaded for mercy, and begged to be rescued. The ordeal seemed endless and timeless. Sometimes I could not tell if it was day or night. I questioned God now and then, asked Him why He had forsaken me. But there was no answer and frankly at times, I was so desperate that I asked Him to take me home, His or mine, it no longer mattered. But in the nick of time, I remembered that God would do things in His own timing, and have everything done in His time.So inspite of all that anguish, despair and fear, I realised I should not challenge God's authority. He is the Almighty. He is in control and most of all, He loved me. Had He not, I could have been blown out easily like a candle. I apologised profusely to Him, and said, "I'm sorry God, for doubting You".

Having come to terms with that, I promised not to question Him again. Complaint followed by faith, desperation followed by praise. I thanked Him each and every day. I thanked Him for the promised eternity, and thank Him for life itself, because every breath I took was given by Him. And slowly but surely, He delivered me, and I was able to see light at the end of the tunnel. We may not understand God's purpose in our difficulties and sufferings, but we must trust and obey, and hope in Him despite the trials that threaten to overwhelm us. While we wait for that comfort, we can be assured that God will not allow us to be tested beyond our ability to bear. We will not suffer one moment extra, nor will we suffer more intensely than is necessary, or be tried beyond our endurance. His are the potter's hands. He knows how to mould and shape. He is the one who mans the furnace. He monitors the entire process with total precision. I still am not 100% sure He put me through all that, but I believe He did it for a good reason---perhaps tostrengthen me, reveal a weakness, or to prepare me for bigger things or broaden my horizon, so to speak.James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Till now, I must confess, I am still some work-in-progress. But I'd learnt to accept the things He has in store for me, with thanks giving in my heart. I penned that experience of mine in a song, put together by a few friends. We are not polished musicians and I personally don't even have the basic skills. Yet God empowered the team to work together. We knew we simply have to do it for God, to the glory of His name and we cherished every minute in the process. If the melody or the words let you feel the warmth of God's love, or the might of His power, or the reliability of His faithfulness, Praise the Lord........

You'd forsaken me, Lord?

There was no light I could not see
There was no way I just could not find
So then I asked You'd forsaken me Lord?
I even cried You'd forsaken me Lord!

There's no answer I did not hear
There were no signs And I did not see
So then I asked You'd forsaken me Lord?
I even cried You'd forsaken me Lord!

Be patient You said Trust and wait on me
Those that belong Shall not perish
Weep no more child I'll mould and I'll shape
Those that belong Wait not in vain.

There was no cheer I did not hear
There was no joy As I did not feel
So then I asked You'd forsaken me Lord?
I even cried You'd forsaken me Lord

Be patient You said Trust and wait on me
Those that belong Shall not perish
Weep no more child I'll mould and I'll shape
Those that belong Wait not in vain.
I,m sorry Lord for the unbelief
I know You will deliver me
Salvation comes Your will be done
If it's Your will It shall be done
There were no tears I cried no more
There was no pain Cause You'd taken it all
So then I said I surrender it all
With all I have I surrender it all