舊雨重逢
-------------

來的都是不折不扣的银发一族, 大夥兒的輪廓和背影都沾上了昨日黃花 , 英雄迟暮的色彩 , 但當中霸气豪情, 猶如紅日当天的也大不乏人, 这確是一群身经百战的好漢 , 像马拉松赛程中在作最後冲刺的健兒们 . 相隔四十七年后再聚集一堂, 壯哉, 欢欣, 喜悦, 惊讶, 感慨..... 声声驚嘆 : '時间都去那儿了?'

上了髪梢的倦容始终掩蓋不了犹存的赤子心, 喧哗了好一陣子, 使人不禁想起當年課室裡的声浪,追溯青葱年代的梦想和抱負, 加插着因賦新詞強說愁的胡疑, 又联想起少年的煩惱 ,隨意在彼此心波投影 . 啊, 那年代过份的矜持 , 莫須有的拘束, 不可思議的一厢情愿, 又為所倾慕的一份细水長流的无奈和絲絲旳惆悵, 面对那大江东去不能改变的有点唏嘘, 慶幸猶有寬容的氣度, 坦然接受不可改变的殘酷 . 走过了辛酸苦辣的崎岖路, 当然也有值得骄傲的風光, 絕對温馨的時刻.

这群人不刻意下岗, 痴等末班車, 我们的步伐只緩和而不停頓, 特別珍惜享受我们擁有的, 最好有天大家还能再一起在晚風中翱翔 , 夕陽下绚丽. 讓每一天都灿烂, 每一日皆精彩.

我们約好明年此日又重聚, 不見不散. 我们且不唱骊歌, 只颂友谊万歳 . 我们不怕為伤感哭泣, 更不忌因感恩掉熱涙. 那些不克赴约者 我们除了惦記, 还有思念 , 更献上衷心的祝福 ,但愿人長久, 千里共婵娟 ！

我的壞朋友

小陳來自鴉城, 五短身材, 在直冷甲執教, 略有語言天材细胞, 是'英語'人, 华語非常本土. 轉投碧小後, 新同僚都自卑了, 想不到自己有一個講超爤华語的老師為伍, 真是冇眼睇, 也約束自己非禮勿聽矣. 但他的国語不比任何人差, 英語更超人一等, 大家只好敬他一尺.

沙兄蓄長发, 大嘴吧, 貌似悟淨, 不吃猪肉, 不沾猪油, 但炒麵上桌, 脆脆的’花生米’ 却多多益善. 他对华裔似乎特别有好感, 岗位在政府部门,講究典型的白領階級文化.

當年投笔從農的老黎, 失恋次数最甚, 只怪自己也不知何棄何從, 在同一時期周旋在三位閨蜜之间. 那三位样貌, 才能都不一样, 所謂燕瘦環肥, 各有千秋. 膚色也像來自三個国家, 暗地裡我们稱她们為"白", "更白", "最白". 有次他與小陳同時看上一名花园之花, 踫面都免不了各自吹嘘自己的把握, 幾乎鬧得不欢而散. 後來美人蟬曳殘聲过別枝, 無須仲連人, 兄弟情又挽回了, 迄今仍有那'有今生, 冇來世' 的感覺.

邱君和我都是銀行襄理, 在那時代可是鑽石王老五. 邱兄脾氣火爆, 有一次在足球场上和隊友大演鉄公雞, 導火線是一位紅顏知己, 最后他赢得美人歸. 成家后依然埋队, 經常和我们一齊浪費青春.

儘管父母亲渴望我早日成家立業, 我却有被缚綁的感覺, 常有窒息之危, 不忿, 終日納悶, 導致我憂鬱, 除此之外, 還是憂鬱. 七十年代我離鄉别井, 乘風而去. 小陳稍後也離队,往西取経去, 遺下的算是半片真空吧.

去年年杪重逢已是人隔离万重山, 但江山易改, 火爆的依然最牛. 在金融界的一輩子都離不了数目字, 和臭銅結上不解之缘, 股海中看大江东去, 浪淘盡千古風流人物 . 邱君似乎一脚已踏入袋鼠囯. 沙老娶了寫方塊字的, 但再不踏入义燒门. 黎子得了白雪三友之一的堂妹, 仍嗜杯中物 !

小陈成了陈老,打扮不再時髦, 穿著简直只有兩字可形容---'沈'和'陳', 既陳舊, 又暮氣沈沈. 自霧都和我一別, 他已是執業律師一名, 擅長打官司, 尢其是大机構訟訴, 在国内法律界頗有名氣. 看看他私藏的参考書, 就清楚他对工作的熱誠. 環境不錯, 真的是書中自有黃金屋吧 .

枉為當年精裝追女仔的代言人, 第一次见家長時小陳就被女方三代人圍攻, 說了”我願意”! 成婚典礼也是贸贸然單刀赴会, 就連伴郎也由夫人借將搞定. 婚後每年添丁, 却就差了一点点, 只好把心一横, 讓妻子率領五千金移民枫葉国, 深造就業. 自己當个太空人, 两地奔波. 老陈現在是電腦白痴, 普通手機都不能應用, 联络客户, 都由菲佣越俎代庖.

这是我们的故事, 今年年中聚会过後, 不太可能再有整体合照了. 嫂夫人們都素未謀面, 遺憾, 遺憾 !

(序)

 

以前在金融界服务的人 ,多半是西裝笔挺 , 道貌岸然, 一副從不訛賴, 绝对可靠的那類.   但近年來這行業不幸已演变为龍蛇混雜之平台.  職員當中自然还有忠心服务的, 有智商过人的,有擅长搞朋黨的, 爱抄捷徑的, 有刻板的,有小貪的,有些人無情 ,有些無義 ,有怕輸的, 更有"多做多錯,少做少錯,不做不錯"的忠实信徒, 精通耍太極的.

在小鎮上, 一般人走進银行,就像进了衙门 ,對爺們打躬作揖, 哈腰,説話軽声,唯唯諾諾.  但背地裡都調侃戲谑的稱他们為銀行鬼. 鬼者,有些少能耐,却不完全可靠,既会做順水人情,也能翻舟敗事.

我在六十年代入行,抚躬自问对客户不壞, 也樂予助人,初次聼闻那外号, 總覺得委屈, 耿耿於懷 . 但经过了一段日子的磨練, 也逐漸修厚了臉皮,成了城隍爺. 回溯當年的點點滴滴,發現真的有小撮無聊無知的職員,無情的招呼那些無奈無辜的客户 ,有意無意的整他们.

我现在算是个局外人,冷眼旁观 ,見証了不少鬧劇, 回想起来也禁不住莞爾 我还有在岗位的朋友, 实在没有奚落他们的企图,也不是存心要贬低这行業.紀錄下來的个䅁,如有雷同, 纯属意外.

银行鬼系列

嘟嘟.... 嘟嘟....
電話响断了都没人接, 莫非銀行被人打搶了吧!
再試
嘟嘟.... 嘟嘟....
他說 : 喂!
你想 : 喂?我撥过去九龙的茶餐廳了嗎? 要不要來一客三文治, 絲襪奶茶, 或者咖啡, 飛沙走雪?
你问: 那是某某銀行吗 我找外滙的.
他說 :等下
嘟嘟....嘟嘟.....
哈囉 ! 那边廂像是个金髪碧眼的, 洋腔十足, ….但用詞不當 ,分明是个本地人在装腔作勢.
你問:  我们可以講华語嗎?
她說 : 可以, 你要’座摸’?
你想:  哎呦 ,香蕉人也.
你説:  我要今天的人民幤的兌換率
她説:  負責的不在.
你想 : 你一定是不負责的那一位.
你問 : 那你要我怎辦? 放弃? 留言? 嘱他回電?
再问 : 别人幫不上? 只有一位專人?
嘟嘟.... 嘟嘟... 她似乎不忿,不動聲色撥分机
哈囉 ! 有个嚣张, 不耐烦的声音.
你説:   今天的人民幣甚麼行情?
他吼:  你打錯了, 等 !
嘟嘟.... 嘟嘟....
惡漢說:  沒人聼, 可能在電話中, 再等下!

你想 : 電話裡可住人?

嘟嘟.... 嘟嘟....
断缐了, 氣结了 !

A daughter's diary

My father complained of abdominal irritation. It began with occasional discomfort, and then gradually developed into intermittent sharp shooting pain. This once-upon-a-time Iron Man used to love his platter. But for the past 4 weeks or so, he had been abstaining, his prescribed medication for heart problems included. Warded in the hospital again, he looked rather dejected and discouraged, except when his old mates came a calling. Then there would be an obvious adrenaline rush to support his enthusiasm to catch up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ He was given a 'routine' check up. The physician told us in no uncertain terms that the patient's condition was unlikely to turnaround. We were warned against harbouring false hope so that we could come to terms with reality and face the inevitable in due course. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I felt warm each time I held his hands and I cherished the moments I could share with him. The mornings were exceptionally special as I often feared he would not see dawn again. What was on his mind, whatever he thought of, whatever he was staring at, seemed to be at a different horizon. There were no sparkles in his eyes, totally without all that shine and colour. I looked at some old snapshots received from my uncle to rediscover his radiant smile. He liked to steal the thunder in group photographs, as he had a unique body language. Mum silently endured all the tantrums he threw, just refused to give up on him. That was 'love means never having to say you’re sorry' . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dad's condition further deteriorated. His fists were clenched as he endeavoured to put up a fight with the cancer cells that were gnawing at his vitals. In a matter of few days, he aged several folds. It was such a sorry state to behold. As friends came visiting, he looked at them gratefully. Such a quandary for me because on one hand I hoped he would go peacefully, in comfort, along with him his finesse and carefree attitude , no fuss ! On the other hand, I secretly prayed for a miracle. Actually I forgot about the intense operation he had last Friday, it was already a miracle that he survived. My uncle emailed a youtube link. The piece of music was as sweet as bitter. bitter as my mood. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dad weighed a meagre 40 kg. He would neither eat not drink, but allowed the growth to erode his system. For 2 days in a row, his limbs trembled now and then, and went into spasm. Looked as if his brain functions were failing too. He could hardly expressed himself. The doctor increased the dosage as well as frequency of his pain-killer. The specialist declared that any, or a combination of the followings: spreading tumors, weakening heart, malnutrition could cost dad’s endangered life. My sister and I were at the bedside last night and left Mum at home to rest. We were all exhausted. He looked sickly, gloomy, and in pain. I felt the agony too, deep in my heart. The doctor-on-call stopped supplying antibiotics, implying the battle was lost. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This morning father's condition called for red alert. He almost failed to pull through. The physician told us again to prepare our hearts. Dad seemed to have something to tell me, but was too weak to speak up. He had no option but just pat my head and gestured for me to stop crying. Then he waved goodbye, for the fifth time. He spent more and more time in deep slumber. I was afraid he might not wake up again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- His every single move was clumsy and strenuous. He was far off his prime even before this. We all suffered just looking at him. Doctor said whatever was supposed to take place, would happen soon. He gave him 24 hours. I was not ready to let go as yet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 30 hours went past. Doctor's estimate was not so accurate after all. Dad slept well, inspite of his slight fever. At a glance, he looked stable without any sign of struggles. Tonight all 3 of us would stay in the ward, just in case. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 30-9-2011, it was 11.35 pm . Father finally passed off. He drew his last breath and shrugged off all his aches and pains. We did not go hysterical, but the tears and pain in our hearts were simply too hard to suppress. We wept bitterly in each other’s arms. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fare you well my father. He was cremated and the ritual was swiftly over amidst traces of peace , tranquility and the 'miss-you' feelings. Dad's friends and folks came to pay their last respect and see him off his final journey on earth. I thought he might be pleased. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was so ironical that it had to be my birthday. We took a boat at around 2 pm & had his ashes scattered off shore. Mum shrieked for a few minutes, releasing all her pent-up emotions. Sea waves echoed, mingling with the cries of seagull, otherwise, silence was just deafening. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was some memory, totally unforgettable. I could still feel the breeze, that rustled through my long hair, leaving behind tiny crystals of salt. As I looked back, pedal of flowers were set in motion by the waves, drifting apart. Then I realised I no longer had this someone I could lean on. That helplessness almost had me drowned.

新春感言

同學們, 

丹楓把她的賀歲詞交給我, 前後有一星期的光景吧, 但種種原因, 現在才能完稿, 變了姍姍來遲旳新春......不過還好, 農曆新年還未到, 她是在拜早年唄 !

小妹妹的呼籲確是及時雨, 我們可別允許 619盛會, 轟轟烈烈的經不起平淡. 套幾句某電影的經典對白:

像经年累月的拼图游戏, 不管散落在地上的碎片有多少，持之以恒，总是能慢慢捡拾回.....

要砌成原來完整的樣貌是不可能的, 但大家都會懷念那些年, 我們一起追求過的夢想, 還有那曖曖昧昧的戲言吧.

.

說真的, 我們得繼續保存這連繫, 經營這同窗情誼, 互相鼓勵, 彼此扶持, 畢竟我們不再有另一段奢侈的四十五年了, 

各位珍重.

佳安謹上

她說 :

2011 年匆匆的落幕, 2012 年在萬眾期待的歡呼聲中, 向我們展現新姿.

回顧去年旳林林總總, 6 月19 日的舊雨重逢, 給我們帶來無可言喻的歡欣與溫情.  隔了半個世紀, 這一批'少年十五十六時的中學生', 已邁進了夕陽無限好的黃金歲月.  傾盡相見歡之餘, 不免感嘆青春歲月的流失 !

感謝籌備這個盛會的同學, 使我們在闊別四十五年後再次歡聚一堂, 把盞高歌 , 互訴離情. 佳安同學的堅持, 也使我們於集會後在網上魚雁相通, 繼續保持聯絡. 更難得旳是, 舊日情誼依然存在, 好不容易聯絡上張克民老師, 他在百忙之中給我們寫了

幾封信, 讓我們知道他們夫婦的近况. 師恩難忘, 希望大家和這一位良師繼續連繫.

這刻華燈初上, 拉開落地窗簾, 往外眺望, 涼風習習而來, 腳下萬家燈火, 遠山上雲頂高原的燈光, 調皮的向我眨眼, 多迷人的景色, 多美好的時光 ! 讓我們以感恩, 喜樂的心情, 迎接這嶄新的一年, 希望 2012 年會更好, 祝大家百尺竿頭 , 萬事如意

丹楓上

谢谢佳安也谢谢丹枫，多谢你们时常花时间，花精神寄来许多感性和温馨的文章，给同学们带来不少的生活情趣和温情，也是你们时时给619加温加热，让大家都有一些联系。佳安说的好，咱们都年华不再，应该多些联系，多些关怀，不负那些年同窗之谊，期待另一次的聚会，祝大家新年进步，身体健康，万事如意。志育上

2012 年的第一塲祝福

2011年快結束了, 正要迎接新的一年之前,  我盼望老師

  

  

每一個牽掛, 得到一個應許,

每一場挑戰, 得到一個祝福,

失意時得著鼓勵

迷惘時得著啟示

嘆息後聴到完美的音符,

風暴後看見彩虹, 

黑暗中看見曙光

一滴淚水, 緊跟的便是一連串歡笑

 

我們一群人會以個別的方式為兩位老師禱告,祈福 !  

 

回首話當年

 

 

一九六九年二月(農曆正月)廿八日對我來說是一個很有紀念性的特殊日子.  那一天我在弟妹和母親的依依惜別之下, 我邁向了人生的另一個里程碑, 含淚揮別了家人 至親好友 我的第二故鄉---怡保, 還有心中牽掛的故人, 只身到百里迢迢以外的彭亨州直凉華小去當臨教 . 從怡保到直凉, 十個小時以上的路程啊, 走過那險峻, 九曲十三彎的文冬山 , 越過連綿不斷的橡膠園 ,一路上只見膠樹不見人 ,車一走過便揚起了漫天的塵土 那種荒涼淒清的景象 ,若非身歷其境 ,是很難想象的.

到直凉的那一天是大年初三, 在校長及同事們熱誠的接待之下, 我渡過了第一個離郷背景的長夜. 第二天一早梳洗完畢,吃過早點,上課鐘聲一響, 正式開鑼, 我當老師了! 事隔四十二年, 當時的情景至今仍歷歷在目.  前塵往事, 點滴到心頭, 當時的我不到二十歲 ,身上穿着母親為我臨時趕做好的紅色連身裙 ,直髮, 頭上繫了一條粉紅色的絲巾, 滿臉的稚氣 ,手裡拿着一條細長的籐鞭, 雖然膽怯, 但仍裝着若無其事的走進課室,

 "新老師來了, 那麼年輕, 不知會兇嗎?" ,  

"噓, 別鬧了, 她在看我們呢 !"   學生們在私下評論.

 

那是我在直凉華小的第一堂課, 五年級的學生, 好些連英文字母都認不全, 怎麼教呢? 離家前父親曾給了我一些教學的竅門, 有兩點是我永遠記得的. (1) 教學前先引起學生對學習的興趣  (2) 因才施教.  這兩個竅門使我在漫長的教學生涯中受惠無窮.  話說回來, 那一節課, 我一共唱過,教了三首英文歌曲, 幼兒園的”ABC song” , 簡單易懂的"小星星",” Twinkle twinkle stars”, “Row, row, row your boat” 一節課下來, 三首歌曲連帶表情都學會了, 學生們唱得高興, 我也沾沾自喜, 因為我知道, 他們已經喜歡上了我這稚氣未脫初出茅蘆的小老師, 開始准備學英語了.

 

放學後在宿舍裡仔細的看了校務處給我分配的功課表, 竟然有十節音樂課, 樂不可支. 當年的兒童歌曲, 從一年級的"大蘋果" 到五六年級的 "西風的話", "送別", "可愛的一朵玫瑰花" 等, 我是無一不曉,  無一不能唱啊 ! 音樂課在早上十點休息時間過後, 帶著歡愉的心情, 我以輕快的腳步, 走進了課室.

  "老師,  我們正在學唱 "蘭花花", 您會唱吧?"

 

不得了,  六年級的學生考起我來了. 定晴一看,站起來的小男生, 個子跟我一樣高, 五官端正, 一臉旳酷, 是個翩翩美少男, 他又加了一句, "我是甚麼歌都會唱的." 幸好我有備而來, 也算是高手. 清了清喉嚨, 高歌一曲 "蘭花花", 洗耳恭聴之後, 他們竟然給了我如雷的掌聲, 總算口服心服.

 

兩個星期過去了, 開始適應也逐漸愛上了教學生涯.  學生們多數家境清貧, 父母更為要養育衆多的子女從早忙到晚, 而這些年紀小小的孩子們放學後都是小當家, 女生要幫忙照顧弟妹,料理家務, 男生則要收膠片, 做粗重的工作. 溫習功課的時間少之又少, 學習成績是不理想的, , 但他們敬愛師長, 純樸善良, 在孩子們天真無邪的臉上, 在他們毫不造作的言行舉止, 我看到了人性光輝美好的一面, 找到了真, 善, 美. 我知道我今生今世, 再也放不下教鞭, 立志要成為一個諄諄善誘的良師.

 

當了八年的臨教, 每年的十二月尾都為明年會否被續聘而苦惱, 徹夜無眠. 一九七六年六月, 我終於被選進第六屆假期師訓班, 父親在逝世前, 總算親眼看見這個我行我素, 使他老人家傷透腦筋的女兒找到了可托終身旳職業, 當時爸爸在信上說:"丹楓妳苦等了八年, 終於進了師訓. 我心中的快樂, 非筆墨 ,言語能形容....."

 

 

四個月之后, 父親走了 ! 我有幸能及時捎起他一個最好的消息, 也是身為女兒的我最後送給他, 令他老人家最感 欣慰的一份禮物------那就是我將受訓成為合格老師. 教學生涯三十六年. 在莘莘學子的陪伴下走過悲歡歲月, 雖曾經過風風兩雨, 也曾因受委屈而心酸落淚, 待遇又是那麼 的菲薄, 但內心卻是富足的.

“橫眉冷對千夫指, 俯首甘為孺子牛", 總算不枉此生了 !

 

 

 

  後序: 謹以此文, 悼念辭世三十五年, 勞碌一生的父親, 我們父女相處的時間很少, 但骨肉情深,   與生俱來.

  我是天主教徒,不該也不可相信,有來世今生, 但心中總是有這樣的呼喚:

  " 親愛的爸爸, 願來生重續父女緣, 彌補今生情大太暫"

 

  12/11/2011 完稿-----蕭丹楓